The Story of a Window

When I first started the process of getting licensed to become a foster parent I learned about the window. South Carolina law says that the window opening in the foster kid’s bedroom has to be a certain size. I learned right away that my window was too small by a couple inches, and it would have to be replaced by an egress window. So in June I contacted a couple places and got estimates for a replacement window.

Being new to home ownership and the joys of “fixing” things (like a perfectly good window), I blithely entered the process thinking that in about a month (Julyish) I would have this item checked of the list.

After a couple delays the window was ordered and set to arrive in Greenville the first week of August. Surely, the job would quickly be finished.  The man who came to install my shiny new window took one look at the current window and informed me that there was absolutely no way the window he brought would be able to fit. That’s right. The custom made and carefully ordered window was about two inches too wide.  And so a new window was ordered.

Last Wednesday I happily received a call saying the second window had arrived and we arranged to have it installed the very next day. Full of hope I rushed home from school ready to welcome the window installers and finally have the job finished. Unhappily, I received a phone call saying the installer had a family issue come up and would not be able to come. And so I rescheduled.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I once again rushed home still optimistically believing that I would finally have a new window in a short time. An hour after the time for the installation to take place had passed, the installer called and asked if the window was at my house. (Yes! This really happened.) I informed him that there was no window here at my house. “Well, they are looking for it” he told me. Twenty minutes later he called to let me know they had found it. Long story short….we rescheduled for the next morning.

My wonderful and supportive parents agreed to come to my house Wednesday morning to let the installer in. It was finally really going to happen. The window was here and ready to go in. The installer was here and ready to do the job. What could possibly go wrong?

While my kids were in Spanish class I quickly checked my phone and saw a message from mom. This could be good or bad news because my mom ALWAYS leaves a message. Even if her message is only to say she called, there is a message. At this point my optimistic and positive attitude was quite shaken and I had very little hope that it would be actual good news. The friendly installer was not able to install the window because my wall is full of yellow jackets. That’s right. Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

So now, at 9:30 in the evening, when the weak eyed and hopefully sleepy yellow jackets are resting peacefully in my wall, my dad is getting ready to go to war for me. He has drilled a hole (well more like five holes) into my beautiful new green paint. And now he is working on spraying some kind of death spray into the wall.

Will it work? Maybe. Maybe not. I might be calling my pest guys tomorrow and spending more money than I want to on bee removal. How do I keep my sanity in the midst of it? When my plan is shattered and nothing has worked out like I expected, what do I do? 

I REMEMBER His truths and His promises. I remember that it is not really my timeline. It is His. It’s not really my house. It is His. It is not my money. It all belongs to Him. It is not about me. It is about Him. My desire is that He would be more and I would be less. And my purpose is for HIM to be glorified.

So I take a deep breath. And I ask for a little more grace and a little more faith, and a little more understanding of who He is. And I know the window will be installed in His perfect timing.

Psalm 31:14-15(NASB)

¹⁴ But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord,

I say, “You are my God.”

¹⁵ My times are in Your hand;

Deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me.

Psalm 46:10 (NASB)

¹⁰ “Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the ^[b]nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

Overwhelmed

This summer I am very busy. I know what you are thinking. Teachers have it so easy. A whole summer with nothing to do. Well, I may have slightly over-committed myself. Between teaching in the summer camp program at church, teaching on Sundays in  our World View program, babysitting a couple afternoons a week, trying to accomplish everything on the to do list for foster care licensing, and get ready for a new teaching job in the fall, this summer has not been the most relaxing. But weirdly enough I have managed to hold it together and remain pretty peaceful in spite of the madness I have created. (Thanks to God's great grace!)

I am overwhelmed in an entirely different way. I am overwhelmed by God’s faithful provision and goodness, and beautifully clear direction. Since I started the adventure of becoming a foster parent I have been BLOWN AWAY by how my Daddy in heaven, who adopted me into His family, continues to show that He is leading me down this path. Over and over again he has shown himself to me through the words of encouragement from friends and family, through the provision of a new job and better income, and through a perfect peace that I am where He desires me to be. He has reminded me over and over that I have nothing to fear. He has given me an amazing community of people who love me and share this journey with me. I am NOT alone!

This week I have had this empty bedroom on my mind.  I have this idea in my head of creating a space that feels so incredibly special that when a kid walks in, they immediately feel loved, wanted, and at home, no matter how long they are with me. I know these are unrealistic expectations for a room, but that is my desire. It is challenging, because I don’t know if I will have boys or girls or younger or older kids. So creating a perfect space is difficult. It is also expensive!  After spending a lot of time looking at ideas on the internet and thinking about color schemes, I decided to go look in some stores. Not really buy yet... until another pay day arrived… However, I stopped at the mail box on my way to the car and I found this.

An envelope addressed to me. And inside- a gift. Wrapped in a band that simply said, “Foster Care Fund”.

OVERWHELMED! I stood in the road by my mailbox, grasping the gift. Hardly able to understand it, but at the same time completely filled with joy as I recognized God’s great love and provision. I have been gifted with another reminder that I am not alone. There is nothing to fear. There is not a need that He has not already figured out and planned for. So I gratefully give Him the glory and pray that all who read this can see His GREATNESS through my story. 

And now, I have sheets and blankets, and rubber mattress covers, and a fire extinguisher, and a carbon monoxide detector, and a can of beautiful green paint, and more for this special space that God has put on my heart. And if all goes well, soon there will be little people with heads on the pillows feeling His love surrounding them.

I am encouraged, and thankful, and praising my Father in heaven for his good and perfect gifts. And thankful for my anonymous gift giving friend for being so generous and allowing Him to use you to bless me and my coming kiddos.

Please continue to pray for:

- DHEC inspection (July 31)

- Window installation to go ahead of schedule. (Preferably before school starts)

- A more kid friendly vehicle

Adventure Update

I am so thankful for the lovely encouraging response I have had from so many friends about this new adventure in entering foster parenting. Not a single person has laughed in my face or told me I am crazy!

The month of June has flown by. My roommate has married and moved out. It is very quiet on the home front. I have moved all of my teaching supplies into my new school and have been hard at work in my summer teaching job. It has been a challenging but rewarding effort. In spite of all of this I have also accomplished some requirements toward foster care.

 I have had two people come and give me quotes for the window replacement. I am now waiting for a check from Miracle Hill to arrive so that I can get the window ordered. I was told it will take 4-6 weeks for the project to be completed so that was a little disappointing. I have also signed up for foster care training which will take two full Saturdays in July. Sometimes it seems things are going smoothly and quickly, but then I get out my checklist and see how many things are left to do. Mostly, I am excited about the progress that has been made so far.

I have been reading several blogs that other single foster moms have written. They are both encouraging and fear inducing. I am thankful for their openness as it is helping me understand better some of the challenges I will face as well as the joy they experience from opening their homes to children who need them. I am mostly encouraged that it can be done as a single woman; and I am so excited to share my God given inner mom with whoever He plans to bring into my home.

I have enjoyed sharing the story of how God is working in my foster parent adventure, and have been blessed by the way He is using my story to encourage others. I am mostly grateful for the community He has given both her in South Carolina and around the world. Thanks so much for the prayers and encouragement.

Continued prayers for the following would be appreciated...

• For the window to miraculously arrive and be installed before the end of July. (School starts in early August and then things will get really crazy.)
• For me to recognize times that God provides for rest in the midst of this very very busy summer. And that rest would be resting in Him and refreshing myself through time in the Word and in Prayer.
• For me to be able to get everything checked off of my list in HIS time and not my time. 

I did not see That Coming...

Well it has been a few weeks since I made the momentous feeling decision to pursue doing foster care. In that time A LOT has happened. It has been such a whirlwind that it almost feels like a dream. School is finally out and I have had a bit of time to contemplate all that has happened.

All year long my Bible curriculum in fifth grade has been covering the Old Testament starting with Abraham and God’s covenant with him. I have studied and taught God’s covenant with Abraham and the faith of Abraham many times over the years. But Abraham’s faith really hit me in a different way this time. Abraham did not always trust God. But when he did, he REALLY did! He left his home to go to an unknown place, he trusted that God would give him a son even though he was a really old man, and he even set out to sacrifice his son in obedience and faith. Every time Abraham stepped out in faith, God met him and showed Himself in crazy big ways! But Abraham always had to take that first step. Some of God’s promises would not come true until hundreds of years after his death. But he still, consistently, stepped out in faith.

At the end of the year we studied Gideon. God asked Gideon to shrink his army from thousands all the way down to three hundred. Why? So that HE, God Almighty, would get the glory. The Israelites could in no way take credit for winning the battle against the Midianites. Gideon had to be terrified as he entered that battle. But, he stepped out in faith. Even though he was probably crazy scared, he stepped out in faith.

Well, filling out the paperwork and having my first foster care orientation meeting was me stepping out in faith. I knew that financially the numbers did not add up and giving up the income of a roommate just did not add up. I am also still VERY single, and single mom was never part of MY plan. But the feeling was so strong that this was the direction that God had for me that I had to step out.

Since that time through a series of extraordinary events God has answered prayers in amazing ways. First of all, God closed the door to the job that I have held for two years. Through a series of somewhat painful circumstances it became clear that my time at that school had come to an end. Miraculously, the same day that it became evident that I had come to an end, He opened the door for a new beginning at the school I graduated from twenty years ago! My new job will be just 2 miles from my home and comes with a significant pay increase. It will almost exactly cover what I am losing in income from my roommate. I will be working with a former teammate from public school days and we are SOOOO excited to be in the same school again.

My mind has been blown! I really did not see this coming. I know it should not be. I know that this is a perfect example of how God faithfully provides. I guess my surprise and amazement is just evidence of how much growing I still have to do in the area of faith and trust. But I am so grateful that I serve a God who continues to teach me and continues to strengthen that faith through times like this.

Next steps for foster care- I have to get a window replaced to meet fire code rules. I need to get quotes from a couple contractors and schedule the renovation. Pray that God would lead me to the right people to make this happen. Also, I need to sign up for Saturday trainings. This will take two full Saturdays so I need to find the right time to fit this into my schedule. 

Thanks for all the prayers and support!

Stepping Out in Faith

This week I turn thirty-nine. I have come frighteningly close to the big 40. I guess you can't help considering where you have been, where you are, and where you are going when you approach these milestone birthdays. So it has been on my mind a lot lately.

My life looks nothing like I thought it would as I looked at the long life ahead through those rose colored glasses I wore at my high school graduation twenty years ago. In my mind college, a husband, and a family were obviously going to happen in the near future. I would happily settle down to being a housewife with several kids and a man who adored me. The other thing that was very clear in my mind all those years ago was that God wanted me to work with kids in foster care and to adopt some children who needed a home. I was very aware at the age of 18 that I had been beyond blessed by two loving parents who had dedicated their lives to providing the best possible childhood and training for their children. I felt very strongly that God wanted me to pass the blessing of a loving stable home to kids who needed that.

Well twenty-one years later I am single with no children. Friends my age are graduating kids from high school and I have yet to start that happy family with the adoring man. Looking back, I have no regrets. God has blessed me with adventures beyond my wildest dreams. I have worked in camping ministry and shared Christ with hundreds of kids. I have worked in a crisis shelter loving and caring for kids who had been taken from their homes for various horrible reasons. I worked 6 years as a public school teacher showing the love of Jesus to kids from many diverse backgrounds. I was blessed with the incredible experience of living in China for 4 years sharing the love of Jesus with kids from countries all over the world.

Two years ago God brought me back to the US with a deep desire in my heart to finally begin doing foster care with the hope of adopting. Now He has blessed me with a home and a place to share with some kids. For the past year I have had a great roommate who is getting married in June. A couple months ago I decided that I could not afford to live on my own and do foster care. I began pursuing a couple possible new roommates. Last week the most promising possibility fell through. I realized that all the possibilities I had thought of were no longer possible. As I began frantically worrying about where to find a new roommate, a still small voice quietly confirmed that it was time for me to trust Him to provide financially and begin the process of becoming licensed to do foster care.

I have a lot of fears. I never thought I would be doing this alone. I always thought it would be in the context of marriage, shared with a partner who equally loves Jesus and kids. I also have financial concerns. How can I pay for everything involved in keeping up a house and a car while meeting the needs of kids that are placed in my care?

But as Romans 8:31 says, "If God is for us, who is against us?" Also, Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." So this week I step out in faith. If this is not of Him, He will close the doors. But I step out offering myself and my home to Him.

If you have made it to the end of this epistle, I would be so grateful for any who will join me in prayer. I have several specific BIG prayer requests:

• To pay off my remaining school loans freeing up an extra $188.00 a month toward bills.
• That God would provide some regular additional income to my Christian school teacher salary.
• That God would provide a more "kid friendly" car that is in a bit better shape than my 1999 two door Civic that is currently gushing oil.
• That I would be able to pass all house inspections and complete the foster parent training with minimal cost. 

When I look at that list part of me wants to give up immediately. It is impossible. And yet, with God nothing is impossible. So I look to Him with expectation looking forward to giving Him all the glory for what He is going to do .